Every day we watch the results of the destroyed environment. But many of us don´t do anything to change it. Why?
I think that one of the biggest problem in the world is that many people put themselves at first hand. It is a question about selfishness. We have a lot of things to do and how shall we get time to do something for other people and for the environment? There are many people which do the easiest thing for the moment without thinking of the consequences.
Another important part of it is money. Ecological products, which are good for the environment, are often quite expensive. Therefore, most people(me too) choose other alternatives although they are not that good. It is a pity but it is the truth. I think that if the ecological products would be cheaper there should be more people to buy them. Of course, it is more healthy to buy these products but as a student, like me, without a job it is impossible to afford it.
To do something about the environment destruction it is necessary that all people work together towards this goal. Of course, every little step from every people is important, but to change the environment of the world it will require more. It is clearly that many persons think that it doesn´t matter what they do. They think that it won´t change anything at all.
Many people go by car to work or for daily activities. I would like to go by train or bus instead but it is impossible in a small town as the town where I live. There is not any alternative, there are not buses or trains to catch in every corner. Often it is a long distance between different places in a city and it is impossible to walk everywhere. The result is that we go by car although it is worse for the environment. What else can we do?
In short, I think it is a question about economy and a little bit of laziness, we choose the easiest way. Slowly, we move forward to consciousness about the result of the things that we do. Every little step is an important step to a flourishing environment.
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Hi Åsa,
SvaraRaderaYou have written a very interesting blog, with a good topic sentence and several paragraphs with causes for this topic. Many of the thoughts that you express are similar to the ones I wrote in my own blog, which leads to a sense of recogition on my behalf, which is good.
I would like to give you some suggestions on your writing, but take them as just that, suggestions!
First, you write "at first hand", which I think is a straight translation from the Swedish "i första hand", you should write "Many people put themselves before others", and further down, in the second paragraph you write "(me too), which is fine, but maybe "including me" is more suitable in this clause?
The rest of the text is just fine, in my oppinion and I find the last sentence a good ending! Thank you for a interesting blog and keep up the good work!!
/Linda
Dear Åsa,
SvaraRaderaI agree with you that we are only slowly becoming aware of the impact we as individuals have on the environment. It is surely much more comfortable to choose the easy way out and behave as we always did.
All your paragraphs very neatly deal with one idea each, which makes your text easy to follow. Your title, however, could have been a bit more to the point, e.g. “Why don’t we do anything to stop the climate change?”. Also, your introductory paragraph could easily have been a bit longer, giving a bit more of a background to what the text is about. Your thesis statement would have been a bit clearer if it had been expressed as a proper question rather than a statement followed by a “why?”. Nevertheless, the body of the text follows logically from the intended thesis statement and is clearly outlined. Your topic sentences in paragraphs 2-4 are quite clear, but in paragraph 5 I think you could have been a bit clearer by saying e.g. “As far as transportation is concerned, there is often no alternative to the car.” In your concluding paragraph you conclude the most important points you have made in the body of the text, which is a good way to go about.
As to transitional devices, you use a few, e.g. “therefore”, “of course”, and “the result is”. However, in this type of text you could make even more use of various links, so you might want to have a look at that handout again and work even more with joining up your texts.
As far as language is concerned, have a look at §§ 206 and 207 for when to use the relative pronouns “which” and “who”. Also, revise the conditional (§ 82 and what we did in class last week) in “I think that if the ecological products would be cheaper there should be more people to buy them.”. Please note that “people” is a plural noun, which means that you can’t say every people, but that you have to say “all people” (§ 24). In “It is clearly that many persons think” you have a formal subject (it) (and an extraposed subject in “that many persons think”!), and therefore you can’t have an adverb referring to the pronoun “it”, but you should have an adjective: “clear”.
Best,
Marika
Hi Åsa! thank you for some interesting reading. I think you have a nice blog and you write about the subject as we are supposed to.
SvaraRaderaIn a casual text there are some basic features and I think you stick to them. Maybe you could have done a more thorough presentation of the trend, even if it is a topic that almost everyone knows of. You have some suggestions of reasons for the trend, such as: us humans being seelfish (I agree), money and cars. In every paragraph you support your causes. All in all I think it is a nice text, well structured. Maybe your language is a bit simple. But on the other hand we are swedish, learning english. Keep up your good work!! See you next time at the University. /Annelie